I attend a ladies' Bible study every Tuesday morning and it's a place where I can either feel very awkward, or very wise. It reminds me of the days when I couldn't have an uninterrupted adult conversation and slipping back into that is not easy. The chaos challenges me at moments. There are little ones running around who are even younger than mine. In fact, she has been designated a "helper" because she's so much older than the other kids. I think the oldest after my 7-year old is 2. The moms are my oldest daughter's age and younger. A couple of them are expecting and a couple of them just gave birth. I remember those days. I couldn't imagine not wanting to be pregnant. I loved being pregnant. Now . . . I can't imagine being pregnant and I thank God I am past that season of life. It's so funny how things change and our attitudes along with them.
Before we adopted our little one, I was fully in high-school mode. My boys were both in high school and I was right there with them. The things of little ones had been cast out of my mind. I had to work to get my mind to go back there once we had a preschooler again. I had so much more energy and imagination, even in my thirties and forties, than I do now. It's a conscious effort to think up creative crafts and projects for my now second-grader to engage in. Especially since I'm homeschooling her. That takes a lot of energy and creativity, and it just doesn't come as easily as it once did.
What's up with that anyway? Just because we get older it shouldn't mean we become less creative. I know a lot of extremely creative senior citizens. Maybe it's just a different kind of creativity. Creating an art project, let's say, is probably very different when you're just doing it in general as opposed to coming up with something age-specific. Maybe? That's the only thing that makes sense to me in regards to what I've experienced. I can still be creative when I'm crocheting or scrapbooking or photographing something. That creativity comes much easier than when I'm planning a second-grade field trip or arts & crafts project. It's just very strange to me and has been an interesting challenge. Kind of like jumping into the sea of new mommies every Tuesday morning.
Along with being a bit challenging at times (simply because of the little ones running around factor), however, it's also very much a blessing. These moms are just as precious as their little ones and being around them helps keep my perspective fresh. They remind me of who I was when I was a young mother and inspire me to keep on keepin'-on. The study we're doing right now is also helpful in reminding me of what I need to be doing as a mom. It's about shepherding a child's heart. To be perfectly honest, I'd forgotten some of the principles it teaches and am happy to be reminded. I didn't think I would really need this study in the beginning. I joined for the fellowship. I was wrong though, and have been pleasantly surprised by how applicable the study really is. I may be the oldest mom there, but for good reason. Apparently, an "old dog" occasionally needs to be re-taught forgotten tricks.